Jan: Together we got the loan, and then at some point, I received an extension to increase that loan. Initially, I just applied for a small amount, just thinking this would be a good backup or an emergency fund scenario. And then when I got approved, I got approved for the entire loan amount, which was way more than I was honestly looking for.
And then I sat with a couple of days and then I was just thinking that this would help me redirect my career. I was just hoping that that would be able to get me back on track. I was thinking, βOkay, cool. I can use this to start some kind of a small business or use it to generate some income for the lifestyle that both Emily and I want.β And then I took it and then I didnβt tell Emily about it, and then it just became this snowball that I became ashamed of.
Emily: I found out we were already under contract and our lender was requesting some information about this small business loan. Again, when we took it out, it was at the beginning of COVID. Jan had lost his job, which we knew weβd be set up for the whole year. We were aware that we were set. And so when he lost his job, it was all on me. And I had just started a new job, which is all commission based. So we knew at that point, okay, right now I have enough money to pay off that loan if we need. So I knew that if weβre taking it, I have the ability to pay it back, but it would give us a little cushion still considering or thinking that COVID would be done faster.
And so when our lender called and said, βHey, I need these documents,β it was like, days had gone by and Jan keeps most of ourβ heβs very organized. He has everything in files. Everything is there. So I was like, βBabe, just send her the stuff. Itβs all good. Just send her the stuff.β
And after a few days of that, I noticed that his mood was getting really weird. He kept saying, βThey keep asking us for stuff. They keep asking us for stuff.β And I was like, βWe havenβt done anything wrong. Open book, send them all.β And eventually, he just said, βI need to tell you something. I made a mistake.β And we were already a week and a half or two weeks into the home-buying process already.
I was walking home and he said the number and I just immediately likeβ sorry. I just immediately was like, βAm I going to be one of those wives whose husband gambles away all of their money?β Everything that I thought I had that I had been saving for the last year, working and working and working towards the thing, I didnβt have enough money to pay back that loan.
Ramit: Iβm really enjoying this conversation. Yes, Jan made a mistake, a really dumb one, but heβs owned up to it. And Emily has acknowledged what happened and sheβs accepted it. She said sheβs not concerned heβll do it again. I know a lot of you want me to sit here and beat Jan up, but thatβs not what this podcast is about.
Everybody makes mistakes with their money, and you will often see me surprisingly compassionate when somebody does not know how to start investing. I mean, 90% of the time the people on this show donβt even read my book. Iβm not going to blame them. Iβm here to help them.
Now, I do get mad when people donβt take responsibility for their actions. But Jan has. Heβs acknowledged it. Heβs making amends. And I applaud him for that. And I applaud his partner, Emily, for accepting that and being so candid. Now, I want to go deeper. Again, Iβm not interested in beating him up, but I want to make sure he understands why he took that loan out because if he does, he can get to the root cause of his lie around money.
